So Dead, My Love Read online

  But the air had turned to ice and Carmen’s warm body behind her was inviting, pulling her away. Finally away from Lara. Samantha wiped her eyes and her face as she got up shakily, wrapping one arm across Carmen’s waist. Carmen put her arm around her and pulled her close as they began to walk back toward the path.

  Working their way back to the house, Samantha couldn’t shake the feeling of unreality around her. Moments ago, Lara had been here, and now she was gone. She fought back the tears swelling in her eyes. The only comfort she knew was Carmen walking strong and sturdy next to her. Carmen who had always been there.

  As they approached the house, Samantha felt the muscles in her stomach tighten and her nerves twisted inside. Everything would lead to Lara inside that house. The painting still stood right where she had created it. The image of Lara standing in her favorite place in front of the bay window…

  She stopped abruptly, right before going in the door. Carmen looked down at her.

  “Carmen…I don’t think I can go inside…I…can’t…”

  “Hey, it’s okay. I understand. We’ll go to my place. You can stay as long as you like. As long as it takes.”

  And then Samantha changed her mind. She couldn’t be this weak. She couldn’t let these emotions control her life anymore. This was her house. It had been her house before Lara Karnov. And before that, it had been her parents’ home. Family memories dwelled there too.

  “No, Carmen. I mean, thank you, for offering. But I have to face this now.” She actually offered a weak smile to Carmen. “Will you come with me, though?”

  “I’m glued to you honey, don’t you worry.”

  And, of course, the painting of Lara still stood on the easel in front of the bay window. Taking her eyes quickly away from it, Samantha looked toward the fireplace.

  The fire had died out; even the carpet was only mildly singed. Her nose could no longer detect the smell of Lara burning. She shook her head to clear the disturbing images and reached out for Carmen’s hand behind her.

  “Maybe I should work on the bank commission painting. You know, it’s been so long.”

  She went to her table where she kept all her drawings and works in progress and dazedly began to fumble through them, all the time avoiding looking at the oil painting on the easel.

  “I don’t remember where I put it.”

  Carmen took her hands and stopped her. She pulled Samantha back towards her.

  “We’re not staying here. We’re going to my place and I can get you whatever you need from here. Your paints, your canvases, whatever. Create your art at my place. At least until you’re ready to come back home.” Hers was the voice of reason. Always.

  Samantha looked deep into Carmen’s eyes, studied her beautiful face. How could she have been so wrong? Why had she closed herself to Carmen?

  “Take me away from here, Carmen.”

  EPILOGUE

  The months that passed seemed like seasons, and the spring came stealing in like a welcomed thief. Winter melted away, leaving her soul struggling to plant new life, to grow and heal.

  Samantha had been able to move back into her home. Pick up almost where she left off. The painting for the bank was a thing of beauty, a stunning testimony to her talent. To her strength. And to the love she found for Carmen. The blood lust, the hunger for human blood, disappeared from her system. Yet she lived in constant fear that it might return. She didn’t know what she would do if she remained so close to Carmen and that sick need reared its ugly head again.

  The Karnov name and legacy had disappeared from Bayton Isle. Nothing remained to cast shadows or unbidden memories.

  Carmen put her shop up for sale. After discussing it, they both decided to leave the Isle. Carmen would set up a new bike shop in Key West, expand into mopeds even. Samantha couldn’t make the decision to sell her home so easily. The property was valuable and holding on to it would only increase its worth for the future. It would just have to wait for her to decide. Wait for her to forget.

  Carmen tried very hard never to bring any of it up. But she didn’t need to try so hard. There were secrets in Samantha’s heart that belonged only to her. And to Lara. Her memories were not something she could selectively choose to dismantle and store away in some attic or basement.

  And there were things passed on to her. Lara’s blood still ran inside her and gave her life. And even though she felt complete and satisfied with Carmen, she couldn’t help feeling that a piece of her still belonged to Lara.

  In the quiet of their nights, as they lay wrapped in each other’s bodies, Samantha’s ears were still aware. Open to the sounds that Carmen could never hear, would never hear. The laughter of the moon. The smile of the raccoon. The clapping of the owl. And sometimes, when she walked alone down the beach, she thought she could see a dark, shrunken form rising from the swirling waves. But there was nothing there.

  Today, on the last day they would spend on Bayton Isle, Samantha sat on the sandy beach, arms hugging her legs close to her chest. She should have been helping Carmen finish packing, but something called her here. The rushing waves splashed toward her, sending a foamy line of water up to her toes.

  “I thought I’d find you here.” Carmen came up from behind and wrapped her arms around Samantha, snuggling her face into her hair.

  “I’m sorry. I know I should have been helping. I just…” Samantha leaned back into Carmen and brushed her hand over Carmen’s cheek.

  “Is it too soon, Sam? Are you ready to leave?”

  “I want to be where you are.”

  Carmen kissed her on the cheek. “And I want you to be where you’ll be happy. Safe.” She looked out into the waves smashing into the rocky shore.

  “Do you feel safe? Do you want to be with me?”

  “You’ve never been a safe woman, baby.” Carmen smiled down at her.

  “There is so much I didn’t know about her.”

  “She isn’t in our life anymore.” Carmen’s smile faded. “Is she?”

  Samantha turned around and kissed her full on the mouth. “I hear you can work up a sweat even in winter in Key West. So what are we waiting for?”

  the end